Extramarital Sex has Consequences Beyond ‘The Morning After’

It’s plain and simple human nature—if it hurts us then we stop doing it.

I remember as a little boy placing my hand firmly on top of a hot stove. I quickly removed it. You didn’t have to tell me twice. It hurt.

The problem comes when an action has long-term negative consequences but short-term pleasure. We no longer act rationally. No one starts drinking with the intention of becoming an alcoholic. No one starts gambling thinking I will become addicted, lose all my money and not be able to pay my bills.

Think about extramarital sex. In the olden days, it came with the consequences of pregnancy. Through technology and the sexual revolution of feminism we have removed the consequences or at least we think we have. Clinics provide abortions all across the nation while public schools distribute the morning after pill. (For more on the increasing use of the morning after pill check out Evan Lenow’s blog.)[1]

Morning-After-pillBut we haven’t told our kids about all the consequences—emotion and physical. Abortions leave one dead and one wounded. Extramarital sex (and pornography) leaves emotional scars that affect intimacy in marriage for years to come. Men begin to view women as an object for pleasure rather than a partner for life, and once the pleasure ceases, then those men throw them away like an old pair of tennis shoes.

But consequences exist and they go beyond the emotional too. A recent story on NBC titled “’Ongoing, severe epidemic’ of STDs in US” demonstrates the rise of STDs.[2]

20 million new incidents of infection arose in 2008 for a total of 110 million infections in the United States according to the CDC. These STDs costs the US nearly $16 billion in estimated direct medical costs.

So what is the secular solution?  Matthew Golden, the director of Public Health Seattle and King County HIV/STD Program and a professor of medicine at the University of Washington Center for AIDS and STD wants to remove the consequence instead of addressing the root problem.

But, Golden argued, ‘we have snatched defeat from the jaws of victory’ by not pursuing effective strategies, such as school-based universal access to the HPV vaccine.

Let’s be honest. If we did it God’s way, which means wait to have sex until you are married and then stay married to one person, then you would have only one sexual partner with no prior experience for your entire life. Guess what? No more STDs.

I’m glad I work with people like Richard Ross who 20 years ago started a movement to inform people about the negative consequences and to call them to higher standard. The movement known as “True Love Waits” has impacted millions with a challenge to do it God’s way. A couple of weeks ago, Ross preached at the same church where he launched “True Love Waits” on the 20th anniversary. You can read more about that in an article titled, “True Love Waits Comes full circle in marking 20th anniversary.”[3]

The Bible says in Gal 6:7-8, “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.”

No amount of technology, pills, procedures, or anything else will remove the consequences forever. One day we all will stand before our heavenly Father and give account for our actions. It’s time we realize that God intended for it to hurt when I placed my hand on a hot stove, and God intends consequences when we violate his commands.

Consequences exist for our own good–an earthly reminder of eternal significance.

Perhaps you have a story where consequences have helped teach you a lesson or prevent you from making a mistake. Feel free to share it in the comments below.

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