A Band of Brothers Week 6

The Battle for Your Marriage (Eph 5:22-33)


  • This only works if we follow Eph 5:18 which commands us to be filled with the Spirit.
  • Feminist focus on verse 21 so we must address the issue. In general, Feminism says men abuse women, and they may be right. Their response, toughen up women. My response, fix the men.
  • In verse 21 Paul makes a transition and introduces his teaching about authority and submission among Christians. This verse supplies the verb for verse 22.
  • Verse 21 does not establish mutual submission in marriage because the principle would not work in parent/child or master/slave relationship. Also this Greek word has not been shown to mean mutual submission, but always means one submitting to another.
  • hupotasso A compound Greek words – hupo (“to be under”) and tasso (“to draw up in order, to arrange, to designate”).  Originally “a military term meaning ‘to arrange’ or ‘to rank under’ that expresses the relinquishing of one’s rights to another.”

1. Wives are to Submit to Their Husbands

(Eph 5:22-24)

Thoughts from the Text:

  • Wives only submit to their own husbands. This does not mean all women submit to all men.
  • Christ initiated and the husband should initiate: in reconciliation, spiritual matters, and physical matters.
  • Love does not just feel things; love does things.
  • Men are not to demand submission, but it is your responsibility to lead and the wife’s to submit. If you love like Christ, this will not be a problem.
  • Wives are commanded to submit to even your bad decisions so be careful with your decisions.

Application to your life:

  • Do you initiate or do you react? In spiritual matters and in physical matters.
  • Have you made decisions that put your wife in a no win situation? This can relate to married or unmarried men. Debt, sexual history, etc.

2. Husbands are to Love their Wife as Christ Loved the Church

(Eph 5:25-33)

Thoughts from the Text:

  • Husbands have the harder command to love their wife as Christ loved the church.
  • A husband’s love is not based on looks, body type, or even affection. Christ loved the church when the church hated Him. Our love should be a conscious unconditional decision.
  • Men should be the primary spiritual leader (see 1 Cor 14 for additional support).
  • Husbands are to love their wife as their own body.
  • Giving yourself up means that men have an obligation to protect the wife.
  • Nourishing and Cherishing (1 Thess 2:7) mean to provide for and take care of respectively.
  • Man shall leave his father and mother to become one with his wife.

Application to your life:

  • Are you learning so that you can be the spiritual leader of your home?
  • Are you protecting and providing for your wife both physically and spiritually?
  • Do you harm to yourself? Beat yourself up or yell at yourself? Do you harm to your wife?
  • Have you left your father and mother or do you run to them at every turn?

3. Godly Marriage Displays the Relationship Between Christ

and the Church and Presents the Gospel

Thoughts from the Text:

  • The analogy means that our goal is to present her holy and without blemish.
  • Marriage should display the Gospel.
  • God designed Marriage to help make you holy, not necessarily to make you happy.

Application to your life:

  • Are you leading in family devotions? Do you pray over major decisions? Do you seek God’s word to lead your family properly?
  • Have you asked your wife to do anything which could cause her to be unholy or with blemish?
  • From looking at your marriage would someone see the Gospel or does your marriage look just like the marriages of the world?
  • If your wife were disfigured or handicapped in an accident, would you stay with her and consider her a blessing and not a burden?

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Filed under Men's Bible Study: A Band of Brothers

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